CHATTING with my now grown-up children, we discussed the smells of the various stages of life.

The nappies, the deodorant, the almost unbearable stench of cheap aftershave when a group of teenage boys prepared for a party, the perfume and the toasties.

I remembered visiting my son at his university digs.

I entered the kitchen, shared by seven students, with some considerable trepidation, regretting I had not brought gloves, sterilising wipes and a mask.

After my heart rate dropped to near normal and I realised that, as yet at least, nothing had jumped up and bitten me, I was offered a cup of tea.

This was a somewhat laborious process, as first there was a hunt for a clean mug (bottom cupboard, left hand side), then a search for the kettle, which was found behind a discarded pizza box. Then the tea bag. And finally a bottle of milk was produced from the vicinity of the fridge. Which he opened and sniffed!

Warning! Warning! Danger! Danger! Only when one is deeply suspicious of the contents does one sniff! As it turned out, my tea was most acceptable but it all got me thinking how important our sense of smell is in the veterinary world.

Take that dog’s breath, for example. The terrible smell we refer to as halitosis is strongly indicative of oral infection.

That means displeasure for the people who are experiencing it and undoubtedly pain and discomfort for the patient. Healthy mouths should not smell! Letting infection fester for months can result in the requirement for multiple tooth extraction and bacterial gum disease can affect the heart, liver and kidneys.

Now have a wee whiff of that ear! Quite often the first sign of trouble is a change in smell. Long before there is heat and redness, a nasty pong will occur, as bad bugs proliferate in the ear in much the same way as they do with Athlete’s foot. Now is the time to treat, so that inflammation does not become chronic. The really awful ear infection caused by Pseudomonas can almost be diagnosed by the unique odour it produces.

And the coat! It should not smell foosty! Yeast infections, such as Malassezia, and bacteria, especially Staphyloccocus, make dogs smell like, well, wet dogs! The coat will also be dry but greasy to the touch, leaving you feeling like washing your hands after a petting session. Not conducive at all to a healthy pet-owner relationship.

Diabetes leading to ketones in the blood will make the breath smell sweet and urine becomes malodourous when there is cystitis.

Tummy upsets can inevitably result in flatulence, which is not conducive to a romantic meal for two.

Then there is the mother of all smells! The smell that beats sour milk and rotten fish to the title of ‘Smell Most Likely To Produce Gagging’. It emanates, of course, from the anal glands. These two little pockets of power sit on either side of the anus and excrete a heinous, lingering, odiferous material that only a deranged skunk would find agreeable.

You nose I am right.